


am i losing you?

by images_words



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Coma, Inspired by Ayreon, Inspired by Dream Theater, Inspired by Music, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:55:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26589982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/images_words/pseuds/images_words
Summary: When Daniel Jackson inexplicably falls into a coma, it's up to the rest of SG-1 to figure out what happened to him.Meanwhile, Daniel looks inward to find answers.
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Ayreon's album _The Human Equation_. Title is from Vacant by Dream Theater.

It was... unnerving, to see Daniel like this.

He looked so small, lying in that bed hooked up to countless machines. Machines that were keeping him alive. 

And the way his eyes were wide open, glassy, staring up at nothing... he almost looked dead. 

Jack didn't want to look at those eyes. 

Usually, he wanted to do nothing but, he wanted to drown in the blue of Daniel's eyes. 

But now... if he didn't look at his eyes, maybe Jack could pretend Daniel was just sleeping. 

No one knew what had happened. Their last mission had gone off without a hitch... until they came back through the Stargate and Daniel collapsed on the spot. 

His body had been in the process of shutting down completely, and Jack wasn't entirely sure what all the machines attached to him were doing, but he did know that without them, Daniel would be dead right now. 

The thought of losing Daniel made Jack feel sick. 

Jack sat down in the chair beside Daniel's bed. He'd heard that coma patients could sometimes hear things going on around them; maybe Daniel would hear him if he talked to him.

"Hey there, Daniel. It's- It's me. It's Jack. I, um- I just want you to know... I'm right here. And..." He glanced around, making sure there was no one nearby who might hear. "I love you," he said softly. "I love you so much, Danny. You're the most important thing in the world to me, and you better not leave me, you understand? You're gonna get through this, that's an order." He laughed weakly. "Yeah, I know. You think you don't have to follow my orders because you're not military, right? Well, news flash, I'm still the leader of this team, and you do what I say. And I'm telling you that you're not allowed to die. And don't try to argue, either." 

Daniel just laid there, unresponsive. Of course. 

Jack sighed. "You tired of hearing my voice? Understandable. Maybe tomorrow I'll bring some music. I'll bring my CD player, and that album you like so much... Images and Words. The last song's your favorite, right? We'll listen to the whole album, all the way through, and I won't make fun of it this time, I promise." He reached out and grabbed his hand. "I won't make fun of it ever again if it means you'll come back to me."

Jack could have sworn, when he grabbed Daniel's hand, that he felt him squeeze his hand, ever so slightly. 

Ah, well. Probably just wishful thinking.


	2. Day 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daniel likes Dream Theater for... reasons.

Daniel awoke to find himself sprawled on the floor of the gateroom. His head was pounding, and he felt strange, sluggish, like when you're sick and you take a nap, and you wake up feeling even worse. 

He sat up slowly and fumbled around for his glasses. Then he began to realize that not only could he not find them... but he didn't seem to need them. Everything was perfectly clear. 

...so he was dreaming, then. 

That was always how he could tell. 

He looked around, taking in his surroundings. Usually when he visited familiar locations in dreams, there was something off about them.... and, there it was. The door. Where the door to the gateroom should've been, there was instead a set of ornate wooden double doors, like the doors of a Victorian mansion. Those definitely didn't belong here.

He headed towards the doors. They were the way to wake up, he knew that much. Sometimes in dreams he just knew things. 

He pulled on the doorknob.... 

And nothing happened. The doors were locked.

That wasn't supposed to happen. 

Something was wrong. 

Why couldn't he wake up?

"Daniel! Finally awake, I see." 

He turned around to see Sam coming towards him. "Um... no, actually. I'm not, that's- that's the problem." He wasn't too surprised to see her here; his friends often made appearances in his dreams. "I can't seem to get these doors open... I can't wake up." He was trying to find a logical reason this could be happening. But he couldn't. Other than...

"You're in a coma, Daniel." 

Shit.

Exactly what he'd been afraid of. 

There was something in her voice. Something that he didn't trust. "...you're not Sam."

She laughed. Sam's laugh, but... different. Harsher. "Of course I'm not! This is your dream, I'm just a figment of your imagination. Just like this isn't really the gateroom."

He shook his head. "That's not what I meant and you know it. Who are you?"

"Well, think about it. When did I show up?"

"When I realized I couldn't wake up... when... when I started to get scared." It dawned on him then. "...Fear. You're my Fear."

She nodded. "Bingo." 

"So... what happened? Why am I in a coma?"

She shrugged. "Why should I know?"

"I believe what she is trying to say is that she couldn't possibly know something that you yourself do not know. Seeing as she is a part of you- as am I." 

Daniel turned towards the sound of Teal'c's voice. "Teal'c... wait, no. Not Teal'c. Right? You're like her. An emotion or something."

He nodded. "I am your sense of Reason." 

"Well, it's- it's good to have you." He sighed. "You- the real you- the real Sam and Teal'c, I mean... they must be worried. And Jack... I can't even imagine how he must be feeling right now." 

"Can't you hear him? He's been talking to you." Not-Jack stepped out of the shadows as he spoke. "He's so scared. He's trying to pretend he's not... but he's really bad at it." He laughed. 

Daniel knew it wasn't really Jack. But he couldn't resist the urge to run into his arms and hug him tightly. "I'm scared too, you know." 

"I know. I know." Not-Jack gently rubbed his back, and for a moment, it was easy to pretend that it really was Jack holding him.

"Which one are you?" he finally asked. 

"I'm the strongest one of all, Danny. Love." 

***

"Anything yet?"

Janet sighed. "No, Jack. Just like there wasn't anything when you asked 5 minutes ago." She softened when she saw the look on Jack's face. "Listen... I know you're worried about him. I am too. We all are."

"What if he never wakes up?" 

"He's strong, Jack. If anyone can fight... whatever this is, it's him." 

"But what if he can't? I can't... I can't lose him." Jack was scared. He didn't say that, but it was obvious. He was terrified of losing Daniel. 

"Jack... I wish there was more I could do. I really do. But right now... I don't even know what's wrong with him. I'm sorry." She glanced down at the CD player Jack had brought. _Surrounded_ by Dream Theater was playing softly, off of what was apparently Daniel's favorite album, according to Jack. "How about you talk to him some more? I think he'd like that." With that she walked away, but she didn't go far.

"Danny... please come back to me," she heard Jack say softly. "Please. I don't know if I could go on without you. I need you, Daniel." 

Janet smiled sadly. She knew the truth about Jack and Daniel's relationship. She saw it in how worried one of them got when the other was hurt, heard it in the way they talked to each other through pain and fear and near-death. Their secret was safe with her, of course. And she was rooting for them.


End file.
